Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
