It's Friday. Sex?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
