You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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