are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
