I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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