I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
