Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
