I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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