I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Randomize
