that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize