just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
