I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
