Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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