WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
