We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
