Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
