We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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