so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
