Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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