i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
that may or may not have been my penis.
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