she smelled like a LAN party
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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