I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
