from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize