I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
