Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
