ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
