this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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