so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize