dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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