Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
