okay pat passed out under dana's car
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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