Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
