The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
