i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
