How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
