Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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