you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
