I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
