Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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