we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Little spoons don't ask big questions
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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