take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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