C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
