All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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