operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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