thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
