last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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