wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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