when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
