Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
