i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
