ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
