Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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