i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
