I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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