don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize