and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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