Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

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(415): View more from California

I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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(925): View more from California

IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories

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(646): View more from New York

I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.

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(219): View more from Indiana

"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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(281): View more from Texas

Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.

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