Will you blow on my dice?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
