isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
