I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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