i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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