I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
