Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
