the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Apparently you make a good broom.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
