1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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